Time's a wasting!

What can I really say about the Sly Cooper Franchise? 

Probably that it is the greatest stealth oriented platformer to ever grace the Playstation 2 Console.  At first I wasn't so keen on the idea of the game however upon playing the first one I was instantly hooked on the series. 

So if you assumed I was excited for Sly Cooper Thieves in Time (aka Sly 4) you were absolutely right.  Heck I even bought the Sly Collection on the PS3 because I heard the rumor of the Sly 4 teaser in it (which sadly to say, I never unlocked).

Now Before I go on, I must warn you....THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR SLY 3 AND SLY 4.  IF YOU DO NOT WISH THESE GAMES SPOILED FOR YOU PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS REVIEW.  YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Alright.  Anyone who has beaten Sly 3 knows that at the end of the game, Sly is last seen with Carmelita Fox, apparently with amnesia and now working for Interpol.  However, like many of us guessed by watching the semi-cliffhanger at the end, in Sly 4 it reveals he was faking it.  Figures. 

Sly, though enjoying his new life, starts to crave his glory days and decides to pull off one more heist.  However as he's making plans, he bumps into his old pal Bentley who reveals that not only has the turtle's girlfriend Penelope disappeared, but the Thieveous Raccoonus (The Cooper Family history and Guide to be the ultimate Thief) is erasing itself due to changes in the past.  Once again it's up to Sly Cooper and the Cooper Gang to restore it.  Conveniently, Bentley has been building a Time Machine since the end of the Sly 3 that can take you to any point in time as long as you put a item from the era where you want to go into the machine which hooks up to the Cooper Van.  Also conveniently, the item in question that they need to steal is located in the same place Sly has been scoping out for a heist. 

So Murray, Sly, and Bentley use their "master" skills to bust into the place and steal the Japanese Sword....dagger....thing.  You get a few hints of who the bad guy is, a bad guy conversation to listen in on, some good use of all three characters so you can learn to play as them, a run in with Carmelita Fox who finds out Sly is back to his old tricks the hard way, and a good old Back to the Future Time Jump Reference.  Sweet.

As the game progresses you meet up with past members of the Cooper family that you only heard about in the previous games.  This is kind of cool, however most play rather close to Sly, only missing some of his moves, and having a few moves that Sly hasn't learned.  Also through your adventure you gain Carmelita Fox as a playable character which is pretty fun as well. 

Honestly the Gameplay is where the game really hits home.  While containing enough new abilities and gameplay elements to keep it fresh, they keep rather close to their old Sly Cooper Series roots.  And they cover just about every aspect of genre.  There are DDR/Guitar Hero parody segments (similarly to a Sly Cooper Boss Fight), Driving segments in the van,  Hacking scenarios with Bentley, 3rd person Shooter sections, and of course Stealth oriented Platforming. 

However it's not all fun and games.  While most of Bentley's hacking mini-games are rather enjoyable, one uses motion controls....with the PS3 Controller.  Maybe it works better with the Playstation Move, however I don't have one, so I was forced to use my wireless PS3 Controller.  It was way more complex and annoying then it was worth.  Also while the Dance themed button timed events were rather fun, it was nearly impossible to enjoy the visuals while doing them.  The buttons take up only like a 6th of your screen while the rest is filled with distractingly funny (yet kind of awkward when Murray was dancing) scenes that you really can't watch the first time through.  Now I think that was the idea they were going for with that mini-game but it's still takes you from your element when you are forced to watch buttons scroll across the screen rather than watch the hilarity of the guards drooling over Murray dancing (and later Carmelita Belly Dancing.  By the way the game is Rated E.  So it's about the equivalent of watching Looney Tunes dancing.).

The Boss battles were rather impressive and I usually (keyword: Usually) only died either do to over thinking their attack pattern or flat out doing something downright stupid on my end.  Only one boss battle really left me feeling cheated.  That battle where you fight Miss Decibel.  She has this one attack that I was unable to find a way to dodge.  I tried rolling, slowing time, running, jumping, nothing.  And it does enough damage that it's not worth just letting it hit you.  However the rest of the fight, as well as the others, were both creative and fun. 

I also have nothing bad to say about the music.  The music is fitting it every stage, never seems out of place, and even has a Doctor Who Theme Parody at the Title Screen (complete with Spiraling Backgrounds and Spinning Blue Vans).  While it may not be the best out there, I can say I was not disappointed ever for the music. 

The Graphics and Art direction also are rather well designed too.  Except for when Sly looks to the side.  I dunno...his face looks wrong when he does.  Not in the gameplay mind you, just the cutscenes.  Also the enemies are well designed and creative.  Except in the Caveman Level.  Then they're pretty generic (Mammoths, Saber-toothed cats, Dodos).

The Story is where the game has issues.  Yeah I know Sucker Punch didn't make this game so it is to be expected, and for the most part the story is rather good.  It just isn't as good as it could of been.

My first complaint is Dimitri.  If you played through Sly 3 you know he eventually joins the Cooper Gang.  However he just kinda doesn't do anything in this one.  He appeared in one of the trailers but beyond that he just kind of appears in cutscene where he doesn't actually speak.  While his role is semi-important for the story (guarding the book while you try to restore it) it seems....poor.  It really isn't a good enough reason in my opinion to have cut him loose.

The Second issue is Penelope.  In Sly 3 she hooked up with Bentley after getting over her crush on Sly.  They hit it off rather well.  In Sly 4 she goes missing.  Now I had been expecting through the game that she had been kidnapped or that she was erased or changed through time.  Nope.  She's secretly evil.  Yup.  Big cop out there game developers.  How'd the bad guys travel time?  Penelope was secretly evil and stole the Time Machine Plans.  How did they get access to the Thieveous Raccoonus?  Penelope was Secretly Evil.  Where did all their tech come from? Penelope was secretly evil.  IGNORING the fact that she HAD A FREAKING CRUSH on Sly on in Sly 3, she apparently has HATED/DISLIKED/NOT SEEN EYE TO EYE with this whole time.  Did she act like that in Sly 3 ever? Nope.  Her motivation is that by removing Sly from the Timeline, she can remove his influence on Bentley allowing him and her to rule the world.  Why?  She had absolutely no hint of a desire like that in her previous appearance.  In fact, she was always portrayed as more interested in the contest then the results (example: she secretly runs the Biplane Battles in Sly 3 and doesn't really seem to care when she loses).  She also reveals in Sly 3 that she has no taste for traitors, yet she becomes one.  Uh...what happened to the continuity with her?  Everyone else was gotten right (those that appeared at least).  They didn't mess with the story of any of the previous games.  What the heck happened with her?

Lastly is the ending.  While Sly 4 was supposed to solve the semi-cliffhanger ( I say semi because while it left thing open on what was going to happen next, it really wasn't all that secretive.) it then ends with a cliffhanger of its own.  Now I know I didn't unlock the supposed true ending, however I did see (via Youtube) how that one turns out and it's just as much a cliffhanger as the other ending.  No offense but we've been waiting nearly eight years to find out what happens next and you don't even finish the story?!  Yes I would like to see a Sly 5, but I would have rather the developers made sure we liked Sly 4 first.  Games shouldn't be made to sell a sequel.  They should be made to sell themselves.  If Sly 5 was the game with the cliffhanger at the end I wouldn't complain so much.  I would have known my opinions on the developers and would have known if I wanted to see the series continue.  But no!  Let's just assume that because we ported all the three Sly Games to the PS3 with only graphic changes (that unless you have an HD TV you don't even notice), and assume that's enough for everyone to trust us with a cliffhanger.  I mean c'mon.  We didn't trust Bungie with a Cliffhanger in Halo 2.  Why the heck would we trust you guys with a cliffhanger in a series your attempting to revive!?

Overall, if you're a Sly Cooper fan you will NOT be disappointed in the game (unless like me, in which case the Story really Sucker Punches you in the gut).  And I believe newcomers to the series would be able to enjoy the game as well as pretty much nothing of the first 3 games will be ruined for you (unless of course you have trouble going back to early PS2 era graphics).  If you enjoy platforming, not too complex stealth, Cartoon Animals, or Back to the Future and Doctor Who References in video games, you might wanna check this game out.  Don't let the new Company scare you away.  And here's hoping that Sly 5 is just as good if not better (at least do better on the story eh?)

Overall Score is 8/10

Bang.

-TheRedAuthar

Red is doing another review already!?

Well not quite yet.  I will do one on Sly Cooper Thieves in Time shortly (while it's still in my head) but not quite yet.

What I am here to tell you about is that I'm working on a different sort of review.  A Top Ten.

THEREDAUTHAR'S TOP TEN FAVORITE NINTENDO ENTERTAINMENT SYSTEM GAMES!

And one on Star Fox Adventures.   Both (hopefully) will be in video instead of text.  However based on my Night-shift schedule my occasional lack of effort, they may not get done till next month.  Just depends on how things roll in the shire.

THINGS TO LOOK FORWARDS TO:
SLY 4
Top 10 NES Games
Star Fox Adventues



And maybe something from TheR2view.

Maybe.

*Throws TheR2view under the bus*

Peril at Delphi

“For sixteen centuries the Order of Pythia has awaited the reappearance of the ancient oracle of sacred knowledge at Delphi.  An earthquake, rending the earth beneath the ruins, has now heralded her return.  Dorian Belecamus, a beautiful and bewitching archeology professor, sees an opportunity to more than dig into the past: this is her chance to seize control of her country’s future-by becoming the Oracle of Delphi!  And she’s found just the man to help her consummate her scheme.  He’s brash, he’s reckless, and he’s fallen under her spell.  His name: Indiana Jones.”

-Indiana Jones and the Peril at Delphi Back Cover Synopsis

 (Sorry for the limited Pictures...but it's hard getting pictures for a pictureless book)

If you hang with me for a while, you’ll catch on that I’m a big time Indiana Jones fan.  So it’s no surprise that I was not satisfied with just the movies. 

Now vaguely throughout my childhood I was aware of the series but never actually watched the movies till Junior High.  I quickly became attached with the series and Raiders of the Lost Ark has become one of my favorite of all time movies.

It was in High School though that I really got into the series.  With the ads for Indiana Jones and the Staff of Kings and its new Euphoria Engine, I was excited.  I couldn’t wait to take control of Dr. Jones on one of his adventures.  Sure I had Fate of Atlantis….but none of my computers could play it. 

Unfortunately Staff of Kings didn’t live up to its hype; neither did the fourth movie for that matter.  However during this mess, I did discover at my High School Library the Indiana Jones Book Series….er…novels…..

….

You know what?  The series is Just Indiana Jones.  No other name to it.  So we’ll just call them the Indiana Jones novels. 

I forget what book I started with, and I forget how many I read of them.  However I do know that there are twelve of them.  And they all started with Indiana Jones and the Peril at Delphi, by Rob MacGregor.

(Included the Indiana Jones theme music in case you felt it was needed)

The book starts off like any good Indiana Jones adventure with Indy already in trouble on an adventure.  And of course like all good near-death experiences, Indy flashes back to how he got into this predicament. 

The book then jumps two years earlier to what I call a Character Drop Chapter, a chapter in a book that does little more than establish which characters are important to the story. 

We find out Indy is just about to graduate College.  However our dear friend Henry Jones Sr. does not wish to attend the ceremony.  This leaves Indy feeling indifferent about the whole thing.  That’s when his good buddy Jack Shannon (*cough* Character Drop *Cough*) dares him to go to the ceremony without pants, offering him a “pint” if he does.  Now reminder at the time this story takes place Prohibition is in effect.  Jack and Indy end chased by cops and some other stuff that really don’t have anything to do with the plot.  Then you meet Ted Conrad (another character drop) who keeps Indy from being expelled at the last second for something completely unrelated to the previous adventure.  Again, Character drop chapter.

Two years later, Indy is now studying in Paris.  And he’s fallen for his Archeology professor Ms. Dorian Belecamus, who is known as the Ice Queen.  However….from the moment the reader actually meets her, she doesn’t do anything to live up that reputation.  She seems overly…uh…”friendly” with Indy.  Even inviting him to travel with her to Delphi in Greece for some Archeological discovery in which she wants him to be a major part of even though he is studying languages and not Archeology (why that requires and archeology class, I have no idea).  Indy is reluctant at first but after talking to Jack (who followed him to Paris for some reason….) and then a Ted Conrad (who he bumped into randomly, neither knowing the other was there) Indy decides to take her up on this offer.

Then you get a train ride where Indy falls for his professor more while we get a little insight that something fishy is going on (Language student….archaeological dig…….WHY!?).  Also Dorian apparently implied to knife a guy on the train ride (to Delphi from Paris) with an Ice pick of sorts. 

Then Indy and Dorian get chased by weirdoes who Dorian explains might be trying to kill her because her father got banished from Delphi and possibly Greece. 

Then Dorian and Indy……

…..

Let’s say the Venice Scene from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (I promise nothing Graphic, but still…it feels awkward since he’s her student).

Anyway we’re now at Chapter 8, where the story can truly begin.  You meet the bad guy, Dorian’s Boyfriend who is bent on taking over Greece using Indy as the scapegoat, some order of fanatics who want to kill off all the “outsiders” in Delphi and bring back the Oracle, and the arrival of “the King” who wishes to see more.  Also Indy discovers the Omphalos, the supposed source of the Oracle’s Power, gets dropped into a giant hole, rescues Jack and Ted who have in the meantime discovered Dorian’s past history (through Jack Shannon’s apparent Chicago Mob connections…..in Paris……) of getting young male students killed after ….uh……, uncovers the plot, gets held at gun point, steals a car, nearly ran over by a tank, and manages to warn the King about Dorian and her Boyfriend’s plot. 

YAY.

Okay, I have to say the story is actually pretty good.  It just seems like there is a lot of character build-up but not a lot of action, but considering this is the first book in the series, it doesn’t really surprise me.  Also while Ted Conrad is boring as I’ll get out (he’s supposed to be), Jack Shannon turns out to be a pretty cool character, having moral dilemmas of his own (family being in the mob) and the having an ear for a certain type of music that was being frowned upon, jazz. 

Heck, that’s actually the reason for Jack following Indy to Paris:  To start his own Jazz band without the influence of “the family business”.

Ted….he’s just sorta there.  He’s okay, but beyond being the wiser/older member of the main group of heroes he doesn’t really do anything.  However, that’s what he’s intended to be there for.  Wanting to help, but not really being able to do much.

There is also a Nikos.  A young Greek kid who is fascinated with America and starts to hero-worship the American “Archeologist” who comes to his village.  And he proves himself to be pretty useful and informative.  Though not much.

If you haven’t guessed the main antagonist of the story is Dorian.  She manipulates Indy, her boyfriend, the group of crazies, her own archeological crew, and even the King through various means.  While her boyfriend is the real bad guy, he mostly sits back and tells Dorian what to do, up until she betrays him.  She also kind of falls for Indiana Jones and has a slight change of heart near the end of the book, but considering how many people she’s lied to/tried to get killed through the course of the story, you are unsure if it’s real  or just another one of her acts. 

Like I said before, the biggest downfall seems to be there is tons of Character development but and little action.  Heck, Indy even mentions he left his whip in Paris during the course of the adventure (though Jack manages to bring it to him, Indy doesn’t really use it). 

Another downfall is there are a lot of useless characters/events that seem to happen.  Examples include Dorian’s archeological team leader who basically is just there till he dies, Indy’s ex-girlfriend from Paris and her new Boyfriend who are really just there, and the whole chase scene at the beginning when Indy and Jack try to get some alcohol.  They don’t really further the plot other than making the story a bit longer. 

Also the mystical artifact seems to not really be all that important to the overall plot of the story, but don’t worry, it becomes much more important in the next book, but that’s another review.

Overall I’d have to give the book a 7/10.  I’d like to give it an 8, but compared to the later books in the series by MacGregor, I just can’t justify it.  Though clearly not the worst in the series (I’m looking at you Indiana Jones and the Dinosaur Eggs and Indiana Jones and the Hollow Earth), it does give us a rocky start to Indy’s adventures.

But I’ll tell you this much:  No Aliens, decent historical accuracy, and a good villain who has better mind reading powers then Spalko, I call this a win. 

It isn’t the age, it’s the mileage. 

Bang.

-TheRedAuthar

  

Super Vehicle-001 Metal Slug

So to go with the fact that this is my first day here...I decided to also upload my very first Review I ever made. 

Now the thing is done more by-the-book then my other one.  However I still think it's pretty good.  Just don't expect many reviews in this style. 

Everybody seems to be in the Review business now days.  I don't see why not either.

To start off, I decided to stick with something I enjoy very much, Video Games.  But not the brand new ones, old school games from back in the day....well maybe not always Atari or NES eras, but still.

First Game I wanted to review was Super Vehicle-001 Metal Slug by SNK (Later known as SNK Playmore).

BACKGROUND INFO:

Originally Released for the MVS Arcade Cabinet in 1996, Super Vehicle-001 Metal Slug (Also known as Metal Slug 1 or just plain Metal Slug) is the first game in the series Metal Slug.  Metal Slug is a series of Run and Gun Video games known for their fast paced two-player co-op adventure and their fluid animation and wild sense of humor.  For those who don't know: "Run and gun" (aka "run 'n' gun") describes a game in which the Player Character Runs on foot through the levels shooting enemies.  It is a sub-genre of Shoot 'Em Up video games.

GAMEPLAY DESCRIPTION:

Players take control of Marco Rossi (Player 1) and Tarma Roving III (Player 2).  Their goal is to defeat the Evil General Modern and stop his Rebellion.  Along the way they are tasked with rescuing POW's and killing or blowing up every Rebel in sight.

The game itself is the Mother of all Run and Gun games.  Almost all side scrolling Run and Guns find their origins here.  Basically it's a platformer where you shoot enemies as they come on screen.  You can also collect weapon upgrades which last until you run out of ammo, Metal Slugs (one man tank like vehicles which the series is named after), and fight huge bosses at the end of each level (known as missions).  The game can get rather difficult due to the player being killed in one hit and only having 3 lives.  However on the home consol versions, many have the option to play with unlimited continues (known as credits). 

NOTE:  Due to the nature of the game being an older game, sound and visuals are NOT state of the art compared to today.  Also due to the multiple systems it appears on I cannot fairly judge the controls as they are different on the different systems.

GRAPHICS:

Graphics are amazing for this old school game.  Sprites are detailed and can be both taken seriously and humorously.  Characters faces and bodies are clearly visible and the vehicles though cartoony are also believable.  However the screen can get quickly filled up with too many characters, enemies, and attacks and can get rather confusing.  Also The backgrounds can have too much details thrown in that can be a bit distracting.


SOUNDS:

Music can get pretty respective in this game...though usually good, it tends to be limited to Military sounding music.  However the sound effects are outstanding.  Weapons all seem to have their own sounds, vehicles sound accurate, and the enemies death screams are excellent.  Also Humorously added in are a voice that announces the weapon upgrades as collected, thank you when POW are rescued, and announcing the START or OVER of each level.

They Replay Value is excellent as the (unless you are playing the arcade version as then you might run out of quarters).  There are multiple paths, hidden routes, and in co-op the two players race to get the higher scores and always outdo each other.

Metal Slug is a great game for those who enjoy Shoot 'em Ups and Run and Guns.  Platformer fans will also enjoy the vast side scrolling levels filled with jumps and pits.  Those who enjoy military video games as well as humor video games I do not believe will be disappointed.  Also the game has been ported numerous times and appears on multiple systems including PS2, PS3, PSP and Wii.

OVERALL: 9/10



Bang.
-TheRedAuthar

FREAKIN’ JILL SANDWHICH!

WARNING!  CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR RESIDENT EVIL 1, UMBRELLA CHRONICLES, AND POTENTIALLY THE WHOLE RE SERIES! 

A little bit of backstory before I get too far into this…..

I NEVER PLAYED RESIDENT EVIL, RESIDENT EVIL DIRECTOR’S CUT, OR RESIDENT EVIL REMAKE!  I’ve only played Resident Evil Umbrella Chronicles and RE5.  And like 20 seconds of 4.

So when I picked up Resident Evil Resident Evil: The Umbrella Conspiracy by S.D. Perry I didn’t really know what to expect. 

I mean it’s a book based off of a game….you read any of those?  They’re weird let me tell ya…..

So there is a RE0 Novel that takes place first, but I know even less about that then RE1 so I passed it over. 

Anyways basic summery, there has been numerous murders around the edge of Raccoon City.  Irons (the mayor….I guess he’s important in 2 which I also haven’t played) brings in STARS to investigate.  BRAVO team is sent in first but their helicopter crashes almost instantly.  Then ALPHA team (No…not the LEGO guys) heads out to rescue them.  Unfortunately all they find is the crashed Helicopter, Zombie Dogs, and a freaky mansion.

After the pilot does the only sensible thing and runs like mad, with the helicopter, the rest of the team is left to fend for themselves in the supposedly abandoned mansion.  Without Ghost Capturing Vacuums.  Go figure, they’re fighting Zombies not ghosts.  After being split up they start to uncover what is going on and SPOILER ALERT, Captain Albert Wesker, their leader, is partially behind it all.  Umbrella being behind him.

Well they kill some zombies, rescue the only BRAVO survivor, blow up a super monster, zombie, thing….I guess?.....and then escape.  THE END….or is it?

Yeah it is.  

So compared to the games, it basically follows the same plot.

It has some differences but those are all good changes for the book.  They also add a few things.  Like scenes before ALPHA hit the field, Irons, and some guy named Trent who is a novel exclusive.

I don’t know, he didn’t really do anything except pull some strings from behind the scenes.

I also like how the book jumps back and forth between Jill, Chris, and Barry.  Sometimes Barry is replaced with a Wesker section, and sometimes Chris is replaced with a Rebecca section, but that’s okay.  Heck even Brad gets a section and he hardly does anything.

Heck, Barry wasn’t even in Umbrella Chronicles so this was my first introduction to him.  And I have to say, he just became my favorite.

The book also takes most of its plot from the ORIGINAL RESIDENT EVIL, but keeps it serious.  It doesn’t seem goofy to me what so ever. 

The Book isn’t all good though; there are some serious flaws as well as some minor ones.

Starting with the minor ones, I’m left guessing what the creatures are called.  I mean I got Zombies, crows, snakes, Big Snake, one dead Spider, green reptile man thing, and zombie monkeys that I don’t remember being in Umbrella Chronicles.  I mean in the Wesker sections, he actually calls them by their technical term, but I don’t know, I’d rather get a name, or a better description.  The zombie dogs are pretty well described, but as far as the big snake, he could just be a big snake, not even a monster snake.  The Shark might even just be a regular Shark.

Also my former favorite Richard Aikens dies off screen….er page…..whatever.  Rebecca and Chris find him already dead.  It was a bit disappointing for me as Umbrella Chronicles made him kind of cool….ish….not really.  But he was my favorite, so I at least wanted him to do something before he died.  Like in the games…..

I also have a problem with Chris and Rebecca.  While Chris is sorta potrayed as the main character in the games and is awesome in some instances, he’s potrayed kinda….pathetic in the book.  Almost every time him and Rebecca (who stick together pretty much the whole time, which was actually okay) trigger a trap or get attacked, it’s Rebecca to the rescue.  Chris fights the snake, he gets defeated, Rebecca rescues him.  Chris finds a diary of one of the researchers getting a hint on what is happening, Rebecca finds the actual data.  Chris goes looking for clues, Rebecca finds them.  Chris shoots at things, Rebecca….well okay, Chris actually does most of the zombie killing but everything important Rebecca does.  Also Rebecca is a freaking Mary Sue.  She never screws up, she never gets hurt, and she solves almost all the puzzles by ‘accident’.  AND SHE’S THE YOUNGEST MEMBER OF THE TEAM!  Everyone is worried she’s incompetent but she does more work than Chris does.

Okay onto some major problems.  

Remember me saying Wesker is evil?  No surprise there right? 

No really, in the book it wasn’t a surprise at all.  Ignoring the fact that the book mentions he was just put in charge of the team a couple months back, and that he mysteriously disappears, the book FLAT OUT TELLS YOU!  Like right after they get to the mansion.  He disappears on Barry and Jill and then BAM, he gets his own section where he FLAT OUT TELLS THE READER WHAT IS GOING ON!  So much for suspense.  Heck the Enrico warning Jill and Barry about the traitor?  

Pointless…we already know who the heck it is.

Freaking Wesker.

Also I didn’t feel any impending doom for any of the characters.  Only when Jill was trapped in the room with the roof coming down.  And that lasted like…one or two pages.  I’d feel bad for Barry’s family as he’s getting blackmailed by Wesker, but during Wesker’s big reveal to the reader we already learned he made it up.  Anytime Chris and Rebecca aren’t running and avoiding danger, Rebecca is Mary Sueing them through everything.  Jill is the only one who really is in any danger, except she isn’t.  She just never gets hurt. 

HECK CHRIS FREAKING SPARTAN KICKS THE SHARK AND THEN DRAINS THE WATER! 

Okay briefly Chris was in danger (while Rebecca made a super poison to insta kill the Plant monster) while fighting the shark, but he gets away so quickly, and kicks it in the nose, that it’s not that big of deal.  

The book is supposed to be a zombie survivor.  I’m supposed to be worried about the characters chance of survival.  Doesn’t happen. 

It’s not that the author didn’t make me like the characters (save Rebecca who was boring as heck), on the contrary, they give backstory, motivation, and personality to all the characters.  Even stone faced Wesker.  I just never felt the heroes were in any immediate danger.

Complaining aside the book did what Jurassic Park 2 did wrong, it made the characters believable and you cared about them…..you just didn’t need to worry. 

Heck they even ended with the canon ending that doesn’t happen in the games!

Overall I’d have to say Resident Evil Fans may be a bit disappointed, but it isn’t bad by any reason.  In fact I quite enjoyed it.  Sort of makes me want to play the game. 

I’d have to say Perry may not have gotten Resident Evil Resident Evil: The Umbrella Conspiracy perfect, but there is still hope for the rest of the books in the series. 

And hey, at least there isn’t any freaking Alice!

I give the book a 7/10, not perfect, but good enough to pass by.

Bang,

-TheRedAuthar

BIG changes! ...kinda.

HELLO readers! To all my fans out there (I love you mom and dad!) I got some BIG news about changes to my blog! I'd like to introduce you to The Red Authar! Red will be posting his own reviews of various things here on the blog as well as me, so there will be less gaps between reviews! ...in theory, at least. His first review should be up today so look forward to it!

My other BIG piece of news is that I am currently working on a new VIDEO review series! Yes, I'll still post written reviews here, but I'll also post my video reviews here too! So look forward to THAT as well!

With any luck this blog/review-ish-site-thing will get even bigger and better! So please, stay tuned for our...uh...reviews!

I am the R2 Dude, and this is The R2 View!